Fail: Guys Rob Gaming Room While Cops Serve Warrent

Two dumbasses are off the streets of Austin, TX today, having decided to rob an illegal gaming establishment at a particularly unfortunate moment: when police officers were arriving to serve a search warrant as part of an investigation into the activities at the establishment.

Dennis Desdunes, 25, and Terry Shaw, 32, are charged with aggravated robbery with a deadly weapon and bail is set at $35,000 each. Apparently they walked in, pointed a bb gun at an employee, and took money from her just moments before police walked in the door and arrested everyone present. Other people then informed the cops that two of the arresties were actually robbers who had just knocked over the joint. Nice. Remember: timing is everything, in crime and in life, or in a life of crime.

Columbia SC is Missing a Dumbass

But it's a good miss. Like when the trash stinks and someone gets around to taking it out. The criminally retarded Kayson Helms made a classic criminal blunder when he walked into the Columbia downtown Alcoholics Anonymous center, pulled out a gun and demanded, "Gimme what you got." His mistake: he clearly underestimated his targets. One of the robbery victims who has a permit to carry, pulled out a gun and killed the little cockroach dead, relieving humanity of one more piece of worthless shit. The above photo with its illiterate captions provides a glimpse into the IQ-free zone that the dummy inhabited, as does this lovely bit from his myspace profile:

Aight Da name 6ones aint shit realli new 6ut Dis rap Shit Dat im doin iz of da F**kin walls Im spittin acid threw these niggas Clothes out here Ima C.$.G^ 6RICK CITY 6OY AS U ALREADII KNOW i HAD TO PUT DAT IN caps so u niggas don't snooze on me. So wake da Fuck UP & open ya Eyes It aint realli no surprise. An I fuckS with da 6addest 6itch no disrespesct 6ut da finest if u wanna put like dat yeah im IN A RELATIONSHIP i FOUND da perfect one So my life iz basically gravy baBY IM done. ANd so now I AM settled down forreal Im lookin at time prolly but my shawty by my side so im good. i AINT WORRIED

Here's hoping Kayson Helms would also qualify for Darwin, ie, that he made off this planet without reproducing, thereby not passing on the ganster gene mentioned below. The good citizen who took out the trash was 61-year-old James Corley. The South Carolina prosecutor says an attorney was justified as Mr. Corley acted in self defense and in defense of the other people present, so no charges will be filed. Corley deserves an award for seeing to it that nobody was hurt in this incident. Thanks, Mr. Corley. You did good. Oh, and without even realizing it you also made Newark, New Jersey a little safer for humanity.

Gangster Gene? It Appears So

This is a very interesting finding:

'Gangsta gene' identified in US teens

* 10:35 19 June 2009 by Ewen Callaway

It's not nearly as overt as a hand sign or a coloured bandana, but DNA may offer one clue as to whether someone belongs to a gang or not.

Males with a particular form of gene called MAOA are twice as likely to join a gang, compared to those with other forms, finds a new study of more than 2000 US teens. What's more, gang members with these mutations are far more likely to use a weapon than other members.

"For the most part, people haven't really thought of the biological or genetic underpinnings to gang membership, says Kevin Beaver, a biosocial criminologist at Florida State University in Tallahassee, who led the study.

The relatively common mutations result in reduced levels of a protein, called monoamine oxidase A, which recycles several of the chemicals that foster neuron connections.

Low MAOA activity has been linked previously to antisocial behaviour in people who experienced child abuse. While two brain regions involved in perceiving and controlling emotions are shrunken in people with no history of criminality or abuse who have the mutation.
Predicting violence

To determine whether an environment besides an abusive childhood could elicit MAOA's connection to violence, Beaver's team looked at the genotypes of 1155 females and 1041 males who participated in a long-term study of adolescent health that covered the period 1994 to 2002.

During two rounds of interviews, participants indicated whether they had been in a gang in the past year and whether they had ever used a weapon in a fight.

Overall, 42 per cent of males possessed the low activity form of MAOA, and about 5 per cent of all males said they had joined a gang. However males with the low activity form were twice as likely to join a gang as those with the high activity form.

Similarly, males with the low activity form were about twice as likely to have used a weapon as other teens. While male gang members with the same mutations were four times as likely as other members to wield a weapon.

"This gene is predicting gang membership, but it's really predicting it for the very violent gang members," Beaver says.
Caution needed

Nonetheless, he cautions against over-interpreting his team's results. "It doesn't mean that everyone with this particular allele is going to be violent and is going to become a gang member – or vice versa," he says.

Rather, in communities where gangs are common, people with low MAOA activity could be slightly more likely to join a gang than others, Beaver says.

However, given the high prevalence of these mutations and low rates of gang membership, genetic counselling to identify youth at an increased risk of joining gangs would be unfeasible.

"We're not going to change someone's DNA, but we can alter the environment which would, in turn, blunt that genetic effect," Beaver adds.

Idiot Bites the Dust: a Cautionary Tale

From the "it was going to happen eventually" department, the story of a young man, though not as young as he should have been considering the abject stupidity of how he met his final fate here is the story of one dumb-ass car-surfer for a bedtime story:

A 34-year-old Fairbanks man who enjoyed riding on the hoods of speeding vehicles was found dead along a rural road, an apparent casualty of an unsuccessful "car surfing" venture, Alaska State Troopers say.

The body of Roman Retynski was found Thursday near the shoulder of Mile 36 Chena Hot Springs Road.

A woman with Retynski told his family that she had "lost" him the previous night. The pair were headed in a truck toward the Retynski family cabin near the east end of Chena Hot Springs Road.

Retynski climbed on the hood of the truck, which then accelerated to speeds of 60 to 70 mph, said his mother, Ruth.

The woman looked for Retynski but was unable to find him so she headed to a nearby campground for the night and contacted Retynski's brother.

He found the body the next day.

News of Retynski's death was not entirely unexpected.

"This is Roman," Ruth Retynski said. "He was the daredevil of the family."


At 6 foot 1, 210 pounds, Retynski was in good shape and took advantage of his athleticism to perform daring feats, including riding on of cars.

His mother said she heard stories from his friends that Roman would sit on the hood of a vehicle and lean back on the windshield as someone drove. According to friends, he had done it at least 100 times since he was 15. He thought he was invincible, she said.

"He liked to gamble with life," Ruth said. "I know when he was flying off the hood, he didn't think he would die, he was just thinking, 'This is going to hurt.' "

Car surfing was popularized in movies such as "Teen Wolf" and "Death Proof."

The federal Centers for Disease Control and Prevention issued a report last year warning of the dangers of car surfing. Between 1990 and last August, 58 people died from car surfing, according to the report.

Alaska State Troopers spokeswoman Megan Peters said this was the first reported case of car surfing she had heard of in Alaska.

"Standing on top of a car going any speed is at best a bad idea and at worst fatal as in this case," she said.

Investigators are awaiting the results of an autopsy before closing the case.

Retynski family members plan to spread his ashes and those of his recently deceased father at Angel Creek near the family's cabin.

"I know he's with the Lord," Ruth said. "He was a wild one, but he had a strong faith."

"Not entirely unexpected." That's the quote of the day. Question: is the driver of the car responsible for keeping moving while dumbass did his thing? He'd be a candidate for Darwin, but unfortunately his method of killing himself is entirely too common. Please, caution the kiddies.

Persistent Pisser Plugged

Seems the elevator at the Detroit IRS building was getting stinkier by the day. The smell of urine must have been overpowering to prompt the installation of surveillance cameras, which caught one Michael Hicks, 55, of Detroit pissing in the freight elevator car, which he subsequently admitted to having done many times. According to Delmaria Scott, a special agent for the Treasury Inspector General for Tax Administration, “He stated that he did it because he felt he could get away with it.”

Now, Hicks is charged with a felony count of malicious mischief, damaging governmental property by a sum exceeding $1,000. The crime is punishable by up to 10 years in prison. Hicks’ urination caused the IRS to incur a deep cleaning expense of $4,626. Nice.

Stunningly Stupid Bank Employee is SOOO Fired

It is Texas. That explains a lot. But still, when you are working the drive through lane at the bank and a guy pulls up to it and demands money do you really give it to him? A bank robber in South Texas held up Lone Star National Bank from his car. Police said the driver slipped a note to a female teller, who provided an undetermined amount of cash, then he drove away.

Lt. Guadalupe Salinas said the man was alone in the car and did not appear to display a weapon. Salinas told The Associated Press there's no indication that the robbery was an inside job.

Wait: Is this even a robbery? If I drive up to the bank and ask for money and they give it to me, am I the one in the wrong? No weapon, mind you. Just a note asking for money? When the teller is behind inch thick bullet proof glass? This teller, who we wish we could name, might be stupidest person ever trusted with actual cash. I mean, the bank robbery attempt would have seemed amazingly stupid - had it not worked.

Murder Defendant Stabs Judge, Dies

David Paradiso had just testified in his trial for murdering his girlfriend that he stabbed her in the neck because "she deserved to die." That was when he stood up in the witness stand and attacked the judge, stabbing her in neck, as he had his murder victim. A police officer who was in the courtroom came to the judge's rescue when he shot and killed Paradiso. San Joaquin Superior Court Judge Cinda Fox is going to be fine, according to doctors. Now, Paradiso's family is trying to argue that somehow David Paradiso was a victim. Good luck with that, folks. See, the thing is he was a paranoid meth-head, which they believe excuses his actions. Whatever. It's hard to figure out how his death isn't a net gain for society, which will now not have to support his ass behind bars for the foreseeable future.