Crime Vulture

Fail: Guys Rob Gaming Room While Cops Serve Warrent

2009-06-23T09:27:00.000-07:00

Two dumbasses are off the streets of Austin, TX today, having decided to rob an illegal gaming establishment at a particularly unfortunate moment: when police officers were arriving to serve a search warrant as part of an investigation into the activities at the establishment.

Dennis Desdunes, 25, and Terry Shaw, 32, are charged with aggravated robbery with a deadly weapon and bail is set at $35,000 each. Apparently they walked in, pointed a bb gun at an employee, and took money from her just moments before police walked in the door and arrested everyone present. Other people then informed the cops that two of the arresties were actually robbers who had just knocked over the joint. Nice. Remember: timing is everything, in crime and in life, or in a life of crime.

Columbia SC is Missing a Dumbass

2009-06-23T07:41:00.000-07:00

But it's a good miss. Like when the trash stinks and someone gets around to taking it out. The criminally retarded Kayson Helms made a classic criminal blunder when he walked into the Columbia downtown Alcoholics Anonymous center, pulled out a gun and demanded, "Gimme what you got." His mistake: he clearly underestimated his targets. One of the robbery victims who has a permit to carry, pulled out a gun and killed the little cockroach dead, relieving humanity of one more piece of worthless shit. The above photo with its illiterate captions provides a glimpse into the IQ-free zone that the dummy inhabited, as does this lovely bit from his myspace profile:

Aight Da name 6ones aint shit realli new 6ut Dis rap Shit Dat im doin iz of da F**kin walls Im spittin acid threw these niggas Clothes out here Ima C.$.G^ 6RICK CITY 6OY AS U ALREADII KNOW i HAD TO PUT DAT IN caps so u niggas don't snooze on me. So wake da Fuck UP & open ya Eyes It aint realli no surprise. An I fuckS with da 6addest 6itch no disrespesct 6ut da finest if u wanna put like dat yeah im IN A RELATIONSHIP i FOUND da perfect one So my life iz basically gravy baBY IM done. ANd so now I AM settled down forreal Im lookin at time prolly but my shawty by my side so im good. i AINT WORRIED

Here's hoping Kayson Helms would also qualify for Darwin, ie, that he made off this planet without reproducing, thereby not passing on the ganster gene mentioned below. The good citizen who took out the trash was 61-year-old James Corley. The South Carolina prosecutor says the shooting was justified as Mr. Corley acted in self defense and in defense of the other people present, so no charges will be filed. Corley deserves an award for seeing to it that nobody was hurt in this incident. Thanks, Mr. Corley. You did good. Oh, and without even realizing it you also made Newark, New Jersey a little safer for humanity.

Gangster Gene? It Appears So

2009-06-19T07:09:00.000-07:00

This is a very interesting finding:

'Gangsta gene' identified in US teens

* 10:35 19 June 2009 by Ewen Callaway

It's not nearly as overt as a hand sign or a coloured bandana, but DNA may offer one clue as to whether someone belongs to a gang or not.

Males with a particular form of gene called MAOA are twice as likely to join a gang, compared to those with other forms, finds a new study of more than 2000 US teens. What's more, gang members with these mutations are far more likely to use a weapon than other members.

"For the most part, people haven't really thought of the biological or genetic underpinnings to gang membership, says Kevin Beaver, a biosocial criminologist at Florida State University in Tallahassee, who led the study.

The relatively common mutations result in reduced levels of a protein, called monoamine oxidase A, which recycles several of the chemicals that foster neuron connections.

Low MAOA activity has been linked previously to antisocial behaviour in people who experienced child abuse. While two brain regions involved in perceiving and controlling emotions are shrunken in people with no history of criminality or abuse who have the mutation.
Predicting violence

To determine whether an environment besides an abusive childhood could elicit MAOA's connection to violence, Beaver's team looked at the genotypes of 1155 females and 1041 males who participated in a long-term study of adolescent health that covered the period 1994 to 2002.

During two rounds of interviews, participants indicated whether they had been in a gang in the past year and whether they had ever used a weapon in a fight.

Overall, 42 per cent of males possessed the low activity form of MAOA, and about 5 per cent of all males said they had joined a gang. However males with the low activity form were twice as likely to join a gang as those with the high activity form.

Similarly, males with the low activity form were about twice as likely to have used a weapon as other teens. While male gang members with the same mutations were four times as likely as other members to wield a weapon.

"This gene is predicting gang membership, but it's really predicting it for the very violent gang members," Beaver says.
Caution needed

Nonetheless, he cautions against over-interpreting his team's results. "It doesn't mean that everyone with this particular allele is going to be violent and is going to become a gang member – or vice versa," he says.

Rather, in communities where gangs are common, people with low MAOA activity could be slightly more likely to join a gang than others, Beaver says.

However, given the high prevalence of these mutations and low rates of gang membership, genetic counselling to identify youth at an increased risk of joining gangs would be unfeasible.

"We're not going to change someone's DNA, but we can alter the environment which would, in turn, blunt that genetic effect," Beaver adds.

Idiot Bites the Dust: a Cautionary Tale

2009-06-18T15:50:00.000-07:00

From the "it was going to happen eventually" department, the story of a young man, though not as young as he should have been considering the abject stupidity of how he met his final fate here is the story of one dumb-ass car-surfer for a bedtime story:

A 34-year-old Fairbanks man who enjoyed riding on the hoods of speeding vehicles was found dead along a rural road, an apparent casualty of an unsuccessful "car surfing" venture, Alaska State Troopers say.

The body of Roman Retynski was found Thursday near the shoulder of Mile 36 Chena Hot Springs Road.

A woman with Retynski told his family that she had "lost" him the previous night. The pair were headed in a truck toward the Retynski family cabin near the east end of Chena Hot Springs Road.

Retynski climbed on the hood of the truck, which then accelerated to speeds of 60 to 70 mph, said his mother, Ruth.

The woman looked for Retynski but was unable to find him so she headed to a nearby campground for the night and contacted Retynski's brother.

He found the body the next day.

News of Retynski's death was not entirely unexpected.

"This is Roman," Ruth Retynski said. "He was the daredevil of the family."

At 6 foot 1, 210 pounds, Retynski was in good shape and took advantage of his athleticism to perform daring feats, including riding on of cars.

His mother said she heard stories from his friends that Roman would sit on the hood of a vehicle and lean back on the windshield as someone drove. According to friends, he had done it at least 100 times since he was 15. He thought he was invincible, she said.

"He liked to gamble with life," Ruth said. "I know when he was flying off the hood, he didn't think he would die, he was just thinking, 'This is going to hurt.' "

Car surfing was popularized in movies such as "Teen Wolf" and "Death Proof."

The federal Centers for Disease Control and Prevention issued a report last year warning of the dangers of car surfing. Between 1990 and last August, 58 people died from car surfing, according to the report.

Alaska State Troopers spokeswoman Megan Peters said this was the first reported case of car surfing she had heard of in Alaska.

"Standing on top of a car going any speed is at best a bad idea and at worst fatal as in this case," she said.

Investigators are awaiting the results of an autopsy before closing the case.

Retynski family members plan to spread his ashes and those of his recently deceased father at Angel Creek near the family's cabin.

"I know he's with the Lord," Ruth said. "He was a wild one, but he had a strong faith."

"Not entirely unexpected." That's the quote of the day. Question: is the driver of the car responsible for keeping moving while dumbass did his thing? He'd be a candidate for Darwin, but unfortunately his method of killing himself is entirely too common. Please, caution the kiddies.

Persistent Pisser Plugged

2009-05-27T11:37:00.000-07:00

Seems the elevator at the Detroit IRS building was getting stinkier by the day. The smell of urine must have been overpowering to prompt the installation of surveillance cameras, which caught one Michael Hicks, 55, of Detroit pissing in the freight elevator car, which he subsequently admitted to having done many times. According to Delmaria Scott, a special agent for the Treasury Inspector General for Tax Administration, “He stated that he did it because he felt he could get away with it.”

Now, Hicks is charged with a felony count of malicious mischief, damaging governmental property by a sum exceeding $1,000. The crime is punishable by up to 10 years in prison. Hicks’ urination caused the IRS to incur a deep cleaning expense of $4,626. Nice.

Stunningly Stupid Bank Employee is SOOO Fired

2009-03-17T12:31:00.000-07:00

It is Texas. That explains a lot. But still, when you are working the drive through lane at the bank and a guy pulls up to it and demands money do you really give it to him? A bank robber in South Texas held up Lone Star National Bank from his car. Police said the driver slipped a note to a female teller, who provided an undetermined amount of cash, then he drove away.

Lt. Guadalupe Salinas said the man was alone in the car and did not appear to display a weapon. Salinas told The Associated Press there's no indication that the robbery was an inside job.

Wait: Is this even a robbery? If I drive up to the bank and ask for money and they give it to me, am I the one in the wrong? No weapon, mind you. Just a note asking for money? When the teller is behind inch thick bullet proof glass? This teller, who we wish we could name, might be stupidest person ever trusted with actual cash. I mean, the bank robbery attempt would have seemed amazingly stupid - had it not worked.

Murder Defendant Stabs Judge, Dies

2009-03-05T13:42:00.000-08:00

David Paradiso had just testified in his trial for murdering his girlfriend that he stabbed her in the neck because "she deserved to die." That was when he stood up in the witness stand and attacked the judge, stabbing her in neck, as he had his murder victim. A police officer who was in the courtroom came to the judge's rescue when he shot and killed Paradiso. San Joaquin Superior Court Judge Cinda Fox is going to be fine, according to doctors. Now, Paradiso's family is trying to argue that somehow David Paradiso was a victim. Good luck with that, folks. See, the thing is he was a paranoid meth-head, which they believe excuses his actions. Whatever. It's hard to figure out how his death isn't a net gain for society, which will now not have to support his ass behind bars for the foreseeable future.

Woman Bites Off BFs Tongue While Kissing

2009-03-05T12:51:00.000-08:00

Marc Coghill, 45, won't be able to taste a curry ever again. Not after his nut job girlfriend, Tracey Davies, 40 bit off one third of his tongue during a kiss. She apparently was upset because she wanted a baby and was not yet pregnant. Coghill tried to comfort her, and perhaps thought to attempt to remedy the situation, but was in for a nasty surprise when she bit his tongue off. She then called an ambulance and the coppers, only to express great shock when they arrested her. Surgeons decided not to attempt a re-attachment of the tongue because of the danger of infection, so Coghill is out a tongue. The good news: she's not pregnant. Coghill should really be thanking his lucky stars that he won't be having a child with this fucking bitch.

Adulterer's Penis Fed to Stray Dogs

2009-03-04T04:13:00.000-08:00

Kailasben Vyshali, of Mehsana, India, came up with an interesting way to prevent her husband from continuing his extra-marital dalliances. When he returned from seeing his mistress she was very understanding and made him a nice cup of tea- after which he fell into a deep sleep caused by all the sleeping pills she had put into the tea. She then retrieved a very sharp knife and proceeded to relieve her hubby of his manhood. But wait, the story gets better. What did she do with the penis, you might be asking. Well, that's the good part. She fed it to some stray dogs. A quote from one of the doctors who treated Mr. Vyshali pretty much sums it up: "He’s certainly never going to cheat again.”

You can take that to the bank.

Stupid Psycho Bitch: Elisa LeCroix

2009-03-02T10:48:00.000-08:00

Now, for another installment in the "stupid bitch" category we have Elisa LeCroix. Back in January she reported that she had been raped at knifepoint by former boyfriend Cole Rothacher. He was arrested, charged, thrown in jail, but upon further investigation police figured out that no rape had taken place. That Cole Rothacher was someplace else, and that Elisa LeCroix had faked the whole thing, including minor injuries to herself. She went so far as to swallow a condom, stab the bed and cut herself on the leg.

Since that incident she's been under house arrest for filing a false complaint. Now she's facing a whole slew of new charges after she reported her son, 3-week-old Ethan LaCroix, missing. It seems that she and her husband are divorcing, and since she's about to be thrown in jail for her last false report, she decided that in order to prevent her husband from getting the child, she'd fake an abduction.

LaCroix claimed she put Ethan in his crib near an unlocked window Saturday night, but police Lt. Dave Parker said she actually handed him to her accomplice, Amelia Cameron, 20, through the window.

An hour later the child's putative father, Kaid LaCroix, went to check on the baby and found him gone.
Ethan's father, Kaid LaCroix, checked on the baby an hour later and discovered he was gone. Elisa had a suspect in the baby's disappearance: Cole Rothacher. Yes, once again, the unsuspecting ex-bofriend was implicated in another made up crime.

The good part is that the baby has been located with Cameron and the stupid bitch is behind bars. Now we get to the ironic part. Below is a blog from dumbass's MySpace in which she talks about a certain incident in which the bad media reported her name when she was the "victim." Apparently lost on her is that she was never the "victim" of a crime. The woman is a psychopath and needs to go away for a long time. She was the perpetrator. Here it is:

This is what it has come to
Current mood: sick
Category: Blogging
For the most part Kaid and I have tried to lead a private life but for some reason the things that happen to us have a tendency to blow up in our faces. I have come to find out that there really is no such thing as privacy in general.

I was recently involved in an incident which I wish we would have been able to private but it ended up making it into the newspaper. Quite a few different newspapers, actually. Though the Anchorage Daily News had enough decency to leave my name out of it, a few other papers did not.

As if the incident itself wasn't enough to deal with, now we are dealing with people showing up to our apartment, my work, but sending hateful emails. Whatever happened to victims having rights? Like being notified when their attacker is being released from jail? Being notified of any updates in their case? Is this really what it has come to?

Seeing all the horrible things people have had to say about this whole incident has really let me see how hateful people can be. Check it out and see for yourself.

http://www.adn.com/news/alaska/crime/story/654605.html

I guess her victim should have been notified that she was out of jail and able to accuse him yet another phony crime. But then, that wasn't what she meant, was it?

Drunk Teen Drives Through House

2009-02-16T11:32:00.000-08:00

Then, asks police, owners, not to "tell my mother." That's right. She drove all of the way through the house, taking out furniture appliances and a load bearing beam, to end up on the back patio. But if nobody mentioned it to her mom, maybe nobody would notice? Eh, right. Police say the drunk, 19 year-old Kapolei, Hi. woman had to be going at least 60 mph on the residential street before hitting the house. Luckily nobody was hurt, but mom may not let this girl borrow her car any more.

Man Loses Earlobe in Parking Space Dispute

2009-02-16T08:11:00.000-08:00

Ever think about taking your roommate's parking spot? Maybe it's a little closer to the front door and you have shit to unload? Or some douche already took your spot, so you decide to pass on the parking piracy? Well a man in Milwaukee, Oregon had a similar situation this week. He parked in his roommate's favored parking space. The roommate, apparently, was very attached to the spot. His reaction? In the ensuing brawl the offended party bit off the earlobe of the parking scofflaw, which doctors were subsequently unable to reattach. Names of the somewhat innocent and totally guilty were not released, but suffice it to say that there is a one-eared man roaming the streets of Milwaukee, Oregon today and he probably has a plenty fishy story. He's the same guy whose roommate is now being held on 250k bond.

Mother of 3 Vanishes, May Be Victim of Foul Play

2009-01-07T12:28:00.001-08:00

Casey Anthony Took Plot From TV Show

2008-12-27T11:34:00.001-08:00

The Casey Anthony story just got stranger. It seems that forensic investigators have recovered a search done on her computer in March for an episode of One Tree Hill in which the nanny abducts a kid. She couldn't even devise her own cover story? Call her anything but don't call her imaginative. Not only that, but who is actually not aware that everything you do on a computer is retrievable? Somebody put Casey Anthony out of our misery. Please.

Police: Body Found Near Anthony Home a Girl

2008-12-18T14:27:00.000-08:00

Sources are saying today that the body found near the home Casey Anthony lived in with her parents and her missing daughter Caylee Anthony are those of a little girl. The hair reportedly matches Caylee's, as does the size of the bones. Police are also saying they have evidence found in the house that links the body to the Anthony residence. Clues keep adding up that look more and more like the mystery of Caylee's fate has been solved. This blogger would love to see Casey Anthony up for the death penalty. She'd probably get it too. People have very little sympathy for a mother who will kill her child like Casey likely did.

Anthony Home Yields Link to Found Corpse

2008-12-12T11:30:00.000-08:00

Investigators revealed today that evidence was found in the central Florida home of George and Cindy Anthony, parents of Casey Anthony, that provide a link to the decomposed remains of a small child found less than a half mile from their home yesterday. Those remains are speculated to be those of missing toddler Caylee Anthony, 3, whose mother Casey, 22, is in jail charged with the child's murder. Since the child disappeared this summer, Casey has told numerous lies about what became of her, including the statement she left Caylee with a fictional babysitter. Her refusal to explain Caylee's whereabouts finally led investigators to conclude Casey had murdered her daughter. Since then forensic evidence was found that there was a corpse in Casey Anthony's car and that the hairs found that were identified as Caylee's came from a decomposing body. If the body turns out to be Caylee Anthony it could provide quite a boost to the state's case against Casey.

Stupid Tatoo for a Criminal

2008-12-12T07:08:00.000-08:00

In a time when there are so few things one can be sure of Darnell L. Frazier of St. Paul offers one absolute truth: Darnell is a complete fucking moron. When asked for identification, Mr. Frazier, pictured above lied about his name. A careful perusal of Frazier's portrait, above, will reveal why this was a huge blunder. Mr. Frazier, who was trying to pass himself off as one Darnell Lewis, must have forgotten that he had his surname indelibly inked on his neck in plain view of the very cops he was lying to. Turned out he had a couple of felony warrants as well as a few others. He's found new lodging in the Ramsey County jail now.

What a Name for a Pervert

2008-12-11T10:04:00.000-08:00

Pheuk Kue 38, of Sheboygan is a registered sex offender who was convicted of sexual assault of a child in 1994. He is set to be released from prison on Dec. 20 and will be living in a half-way house in his Michigan town. He should consider changing at least his first name.

Caylee Anthony's Body Found?

2008-12-11T09:55:00.000-08:00

Reports are emerging today that the body of a small child has been found in a wooded area about a half mile from the home of Casey Anthony and her parents, leading to speculation that Caylee may finally have been found. The body was badly decomposed, and wrapped in plastic bound with duct tape. There has been no identification made yet of the body, which is still awaiting autopsy. George and Cindy Anthony, Casey's parents, have been notified of the discovery. If the body proves to be Caylee, the charges against Casey are likely to be much stronger. Particularly depending on the findings as to when the death occurred.

Palin's Grifter Ways

2008-12-04T12:51:00.000-08:00

Reports from the AP today state that the RNC now says that Palin's clothing expenditures are now 30k dollars higher than the 150k that was reported during the election. This, presumably, is also in addition to the 20-40k that was spent on clothing for Todd Palin. This family of grifters nearly defies imagination. Still open to speculation is how the Palin house, built down the road from the Wasilla sports complex that Palin pushed through, was connected with the contractors who won the contracts for the sports center. There is a real indication that the Palin abode, valued at 500k, was a kickback. For a moron she sure can make fools of lots of other people.

Update: Denise Amber Lee Murdered, 911 Failure

2008-12-03T12:41:00.000-08:00

Denise Amber Lee could have been saved by competent 911 operators.

Trampled at Walmart Security Guard's Family Files Suit

2008-12-03T12:21:00.000-08:00

Let's take a moment to remember a guy who was done in by other people's stupidity and greed as well as one corporation's lack of concern for the safety of their employees. Jdimytai Damour, 34, was trampled to death by a crowd that surged into the store, tearing the doors from the hinges as they did. This 6'5" tall, 270 lb. man used his body to shield a pregnant woman from the ravenous hordes and died of asphyxiation as a result. The shoppers were enraged when told that they could not keep shopping. Mr. Damour was a temporary security guard at the Wal-Mart, Green Acres Mall in Nassau County, N.Y. Since when did anyone ever need a stupid television this badly? Those of you who trampled this man, may you choke on your Christmas dinner. Police are looking at tapes of the event to try and determine if there was anyone who can be aprehended.

Scott Peterson hot for Casey Anthony?

2008-10-30T07:04:00.001-07:00

It seems there's a touching romantic development in the Casey Anthony murder case. If you'll remember, and who can forget, Casey was charged last week with murdering her daughter Caylee Anthony. This, after tests of her car proved there was indeed a corpse in the trunk, that it was human and that the hairs found in the trunk, which were determined to be Caylee's were from a decompsing body. Enter wife-killer Scott Peterson. Having apparently recognized a kindred spirit in his fellow psychopath Casey Anthony he reached out. Casey has reportedly recieved mail from Scott Peterson.

Caylee Anthony Dead- Tests Confirm

2008-10-24T11:17:00.000-07:00

Tests released today confirm that the hair taken from the trunk of Casey Anthony's car came from a decomposing body. Earlier tests showed that the hair was Caylee Anthony's. So, it appears that all doubts as to Caylee's fate, if there really were any left, have been resolved. She is dead. Casey Anthony is charged with murder, manslaughter and lying to police. What remains to be seen is if, when confronted with the fact that Caylee is known to be dead, she will decide to say what happened to her.

Miss Louisiana Teen Ousted After Dine and Dash

2008-10-22T13:11:00.000-07:00

Well, Lindsey Evans, Miss Louisiana Teen USA won't have to worry about all of those supposed duties that go along with being Miss Louisiana Teen anymore. She's been ousted after skipping out on her bill, along with three friends, at Posados Cafe in Bossier City, La.

Unfortunately for our bimbacious Miss Evans, she violated one of the cardinal rules for successful crime: she left her purse, and thereby her ID, behind. (See crime rule #2 here.) But, as it turned out, Evans and her friends now have even bigger problems. It seems that Miss Evans' purse also contained her weed stash. Lindsey Evans and her pals, named as Jordan James, 18, Jennifer Martin, 22, and Morgan Goleman, 18 are all charged with theft over the 46 dollar restaurant tab as well as possession of marijuana. Martin and James were also charged with possession of drug paraphernalia. The theft charge was a minor criminal matter compared with the crime of possession of pot and paraphernalia. Oppy.

Turns out they maybe just shoulda paid their bill. "Lindsey Evans has been part of an organization that believes in opportunities when earned and consequences when warranted," said a statement from Paula Miles, president of Miss Teen USA pageant sponsor RPM. "Due to recent circumstances, Lindsey has been relieved of her duties as Miss Louisiana Teen USA 2008 effective immediately." Evans will have to return her Miss Louisana Teen crown and sash, but not the other gifts she recieved when she won the pagent.

She looks pretty pleased with herself in the mugshot, eh?